


a white-hot pride for you to see

by keeplovinanyway



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Homophobia, M/M, Pride, queer eye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 13:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15050078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keeplovinanyway/pseuds/keeplovinanyway
Summary: There's different sorts of prides: quiet and personal, loud and happy - and there's the angry one, that makes you want to fight those who are the reason your life is so hard sometimes.On the airplane aisle across from Phil is a homophobe who doesn't like him watching Queer Eye. So what if he has a little fun with this?





	a white-hot pride for you to see

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on the train after I said goodbye to my girlfriend who I had just proposed to two days ago. :)
> 
> This is inspired by the sort of feeling I get from holding my girlfriend's (fiancée's!) hand just a little tighter while walking by those people with their bible stands in the street. You know the one. The stubborn one, where you know you're safe enough to face whoever mumbles "disgusting" at you for living your life and you just want to show them extra how super happy you are. 
> 
> Anyway. Happy Pride!!!

Phil's angry, and it surprises him.

He's not an angry person, usually. Not towards other people at least. He might yell at the TV when he loses a game, sure, and he knows he can be a nuisance if he gets hungry. But when it comes to the people around him, he is usually understanding and patient to the point where Dan often steps in and snarls at someone on his behalf.

And yet, right now - right now he's feeling a tenseness in his chest that makes him want to bite something, or grab Dan's hand hard, or tilt his laptop further towards the guy with the disapproving quirk of his eyebrows. That guy that reminds him too much of those relatives that ask him about whether he'll marry a nice girl soon each time they see him.

Because Phil's on a plane, watching Queer Eye, and the guy on the other side of the aisle is definitely a homophobe.

It started out subtle enough. A few glances too many in his direction ("Dan, is my hair weird or something?" - "No, why?" - "That guy keeps looking weirdly at me" - "Maybe he's just into you"). Then several annoyed huffs whenever the flamboyant and feminine Jonathan was on screen ("I think it's something else to be honest"). Until, just now, at one of the guys smacking the current contestant on the ass, the dude with the weird moustache that Phil already violently hates muttered a slur under his breath that had Phil ball his hands into fists.

Dan's been shooting him questioning glances for a while already. He's leaning over now and pushes Phil's headphone off his ear.

"What's up with you?" he whispers.

Phil swallows. He debates not telling Dan for a moment, because he knows how mad it'll make him if he hears about this. Dan is prone to feel impulsive when he's angry and Phil doesn't know what'll happen and he definitely _doesn't_ want the British gossip newspapers tomorrow to be full of the news of the two gay YouTubers who are actually gay together causing a public scene in an airplane by insulting someone who's probably a Very Important Person.

"Phil?" Dan hits pause. "Are you okay?"

His eyes are now tinged with hidden concern and that's all Phil needs to decide to tell him (as if not telling him something had ever been a viable option).

"This guy is homophobic," he murmurs into Dan's headphone free ear, "he keeps looking weirdly at us and I heard him say... something bad just now. Don't look!"

Dan's head swivels around instantly and Phil watches him glare at moustache guy. He nudges him.

"Don't let him see you."

"Too late," Dan says, way too loud for Phil's liking, "we just had some very intense eye contact."

It's intended to make Phil laugh, he knows, but he can't - not right now, when he has to work so hard to keep the white hot ball of anger in his chest under control. He swallows against all that he wants to say, or scream even perhaps. It's people like that - people that are visibly against others just for who they are, that make life so hard for people like him and Dan and so many in their fanbase as well.

Phil's always known his love to be right and pure. Deep down, he's always known that. And yet he's had to endure glances and assumptions, had to hide because he feared for his income, has to work against years of half-lies and omitted truths just to talk about Thor being hot. Has to not hold his boyfriend's hand even though he really wants to, all because of bigoted dickheads who sit an aisle across a stranger and insult them for a show they're watching with openly gay men.

"I hate this," he whispers.

Dan looks at him; really looks at him.

"I know. Me too."

It's pride month, even. There've been rainbows and flags of all kinds and good shows all throughout June. There have been fans at their shows holding pride flags that they signed, always with a mixture of anxiety and love. There's been their Sims series with its gayer content by the episode, and the innuendos in the shows and the pictures they post of each other and so much tentative happiness and freedom in learning how to be themselves again. There's been pride, in every step they take and each time a queer kid stands in front of them and tells them timidly or stubbornly or proudly that it means something, that they came out or found friends or themselves in the community around them both. Despite the fact that they've made no statement, their life has been tinged in a sort of pride that's often quiet and just theirs, and sometimes public and bold.

And now... now this feels like a different sort of pride. It feels like the activism Phil's only been able to support with donations for the most part, anonymous but grateful. It feels like people marching together for a cause and like standing up for others who are just like them or maybe a little bit different, others who get scoffed upon like the both of them are now.

"We can put on something else," Dan offers, already reaching for the laptop and exiting fullscreen, but Phil stops him.

"No," he says, "I want to watch Queer Eye with you."

He knows he talks louder than he has before and he knows his fingers shake a bit for it, but he continues anyway.

"Let me just... put on subtitles. You know. Just... um." Just so it's even clearer what we're watching, he thinks, just so that maybe even the message of the show gets across, just so that this guy really knows what's going on.

Is it out of spite, perhaps? Phil doesn't know, he just wants to show this queerness and the pride he feels in it all around and especially to moustache guy.

Dan twinkles back at him, curious.

"Okay," he says with laughter in his voice. "That's- ... okay. Let's do that."

Phil's not done yet. This feels good, this feels like doing something. It's terrifying, but it's also fulfilling in a way he's not really felt before.

"Did you water our plants at home," is the first thing on his mind, despite knowing fully well that he did it himself.

 _Just roll with it,_ he tells Dan with his eyes, _please._ Dan shakes his head almost imperceptibly and grins, but luckily he's quick to adjust and indulges Phil whenever he can.

"I think that was you. I sweeped the bedroom, remember?"

Phil risks a glance over to moustache dude, just to see they're definitely being listened to with a scowl on his face. Somehow, this time it fills him with glee.

"Oh right babe," he says, and it's a risk, but they're in business class and it doesn't matter if they're heard, not really, and it just feels too good. Still, Dan's eyes widen just a fraction before his face gets that determined look Phil both dreads and loves. Right now, it thrills him in the best way.

Dan leans closer into his space.

"Should have washed the sheets though, after- you know," he says, lowly but still loud enough for the people nearest to them.

Phil feels himself blush, but he also hears a gasp coming from his right and looks over at the guy, whose expression looks nothing short of disgusted.

Phil loves this. He turns to Dan.

"Keep it down," he shushes him, "and let's just watch Queer Eye. I'm gonna go home with Karamo if you keep embarrassing me. He's well fit, you know."

Dan giggles and leans into Phil shortly. He smiles at him a smile that tells a story of the same sort of recklessness and accomplishment and pride that fills Phil up inside. Phil touches his hand to Dan's knee for a moment.

 _Thank you_ , that means, _for getting me_. Perhaps it also means _I love you._

Dan let's his own hand brush over Phil's before he presses play again. The episode continue. [That's the gay lifestyle] the subtiles caption Tan's words, and Phil pushes his laptop a bit to the side. Perhaps moustache guy does want to watch it with them. Dan giggles again next to him.

Phil's pride is quiet and settled and hidden most of the time. But today it's a rainbow above his head, a light for those less comfortable than him and something that blinds all the homophobes with its brightness. It's new to him, but he wants to keep a bit of this. He loves Dan and if he has to annoy stupid guys with that so they don't get to make him feel bad - well, then he'll maybe just enjoy it.

**Author's Note:**

> [Kudos] and [Comments] are appreciated! Constructive criticism is welcome at [heartfeltfangirl.tumblr.com](heartfeltfangirl.tumblr.com).
> 
> Reblog this story on [tumblr](https://heartfeltfangirl.tumblr.com/post/175247716933/a-white-hot-pride-for-you-to-see)!


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